Work in Progress

I am so unbalanced.
I can't seem to get myself upright.
I know the things that I want; the goals I want to reach and I generally know the step I need to take to get there but the problem is balance. I think it's my nature to focus; fixate on one area of interest at a time and I tend to devote all my time and attention to that one area but in the process, I forget to balance and neglect other areas. I do the same thing with books and it has the same results. I'll compile about 5 books that I want to read and I'm so impatient and a.d.d. that I'll start one book and then before finishing it, I'll move on to another and this way, nothing really gets accomplished.

This is a pattern it seems.
During the school year, I focussed on school and neglected my health.
I didn't work out regularly, eat properly, sleep normally.
I obsessed and stressed over school and getting my portfolio together and doing all the things I thought I should do before I graduated. I didn't do any photoshoots or other hobbies that I enjoy. Now I'm trying to eat properly (not working...I love pasta too much!) but at least I'm exercising every day, faithfully not because I have some clichee desire to be model skinny (because I have accepted the fact that I have a Spanish body and I love it) but because I want to feel comfortable in my body and not let it get to me when my parents leave various 'weight loss' books on my desk. During this process, I have neglected my job search and the exercising and expansion of my mind and creativity. Ugh.

Neither way works. Both methods of fixation are frustrating and result in me feeling restless. I'm happy with who I am and what I have accomplished but I find it frustrating that I can seem to balance it all and be entirely satisfied. I have yet to master this part of being an adult I suppose. I'm working on discipline. I guess I'm a work in progress. I hate waiting. Damn consumer society conditioning me to expect and demand instant gratification.