All I want for Christmas is a tazer

It takes me about an hour, more or less, by ttc to get from home to work every day.
Bus, subway, streetcar.

In general, taking public transit in Toronto is an extreme hazard to your sanity and even more so in the winter when everyone is wearing enough winter gear to double their body mass. It's crowded and exhausting and everyone smells like wet sheep! Now it's worse people, because now you have to worry about Frotteurs.

Never heard that word before? Yea, neither have I, until this morning.
So I'm getting on the streetcar and it's a mission to get standing room but I try to tune out my discomfort by reading my book but apparently I did it too well. A couple of minute go by and I start to become aware of something or someone pressing against my back, more specifically around my bum. Hm. Curious. I slowly looked behind me, assuming it was just someone unaware that they were standing too near or their bag was hitting me. Instead, I see a guy, burgundy toque, a little on the short side, Hispanic (I'm being specific in case you encounter him). He had been pressing himself against my bum purposely and I moved to the side on the streetcar, further away and saw that he was sporting thin pin-striped dress pants and a hard on.

I was so flabbergasted!!! This actually happens?! Really?! Are you kidding me ASSHOLE?
It was beyond comprehension that someone like this existed that I contented myself to merely glare at him. 'People don't actual do things like this. I must've imagined it,' is how I rationalized it at the time but you can't really rationalize a BONER away. UGH!! Now that the shock has worn away, I would have castrated him. If not literally, then at least publicly!

So just to clarify, frotteurism refers to a paraphilic interest in rubbing, usually one's pelvis or erect penis, against a non-consenting person for sexual gratification. It usually occurs in crowded places like a train or a concert where a victim cannot easily respond. You can charge the douchers as it is considered a sexual assault! I only found all this out after the fact which is why I'm blogging about it. If it happens to you, react quickly and not when it's too late to do anything about it!

Sigh.
Adding a tazer to my Christmas list.

~T